Sample Debutante Essay

Some young women wonder how they can become a debutante.

Some ask out of curiosity and others ask because they’d like to become a debutante. Becoming a debutante is still a very desirable thing for many women; it’s all about tradition and honoring the accomplishments of the young women, not the contributions of their families to society.

How can I become a Cary debutante?

Each debutante society has different rules, but here in Cary, NC, potential debs are nominated during the spring semester of their junior year of high school. A committee meets and determines who would be a good fit. There are several considerations: academics, athletics, leadership, community service and character.

Nominated young women receive an invitation by mail to attend an information session with a parent. The meeting is typically on a Sunday afternoon and there are light refreshments served. A daytime dress is appropriate, something like you’d wear to church or synagogue. Several speakers give brief talks with information about fees, expectations, and commitments.

What do debs do?

There are a lot of activities, including a mother-daughter brunch, dance rehearsals, parties, and of course the ball. Most young women are already very busy with school activities, community service projects, exams, mission trips, etc., so the debutante society’s get-togethers are social and fun.

What is a marshal?

Each debutante selects a chief marshal (the debutante’s father or another older adult male) and a marshal (friend), a young man who escorts the deb to all her parties and the ball. The marshal should not be a boyfriend; a longtime family friend or a “pal” is more desirable since the entire event should be enjoyable and drama-free. A breakup with a boyfriend would be a game-changer. Pick a guy who is well mannered, a good sport, dependable, available to attend social events, easy to get along with, and, most importantly, willing to learn how to dance. He will need to rent a tuxedo, too. (Sometimes the deb’s family pays for the tux rental, but it’s not necessary.) The debutante ball is a “white tie” event, which means gentlemen wear a long black tailcoat, white bow tie, white waistcoat, and a starched, wing-collar shirt.

What should I wear to the parties?

The deb and the marshal will be expected to participate in every event. Most parties (in Cary) are theme parties. Therefore, if it’s a Great Gatsby theme, for example, the deb and her marshal are expected to dress in roaring ’20s style. If it’s a country barbecue party, the deb is expected to wear cowboy boots at the very least and maybe a cowboy hat or turquoise jewelry or something that gives a country vibe. Her marshal should be dressed in-theme as well.

What else is expected of me?

It’s expected that the deb will attend parties, write thank-you notes to each of the hosts (on real stationery, not electronic) and mail the note promptly. Many debutantes have attended cotillion, but that’s not a pre-requisite.  *I’m sharing this info in the event that the deb isn’t sure which bread plate or water goblet is hers when dining, she’ll want to brush up on etiquette – especially thank you notes and table manners.

At the ball, the deb is expected to wear an all-white gown. A ball gown is a dress that is big or “fluffy” on the bottom; it’s not fitted or mermaid style. Think of Cinderella’s fit-and-flared gown.

A deb is also expected to wear elbow-length white gloves and white dance shoes — sort of like what tap dancers wear. Choose sturdy, stable pumps for dancing and walking up and down staircases, nothing too high. The heels should be about an inch or two at the most. Closed toe and closed heel.

May I invite others to the ball?

Yes! Tickets to the ball are for sale. Many debs buy several tickets or a whole table and invite family, friends, and the marshal’s family to enjoy the evening. It’s a lot of fun to have a table to celebrate the evening with, but it’s not mandatory.

Being a debutante requires commitment, but there are plenty of benefits, too. You meet friends and families from outside your own circle, and your confidence grows from learning to dress and dance elegantly. Traditionally, debutante societies were the primary way some young people made new friends and acquaintances. Now, there are plenty of other options, both online and in real life. But there’s nothing quite like connecting with the tradition and beauty of debutante activities to forge meaningful connections and find personal growth.






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    – Guests arrive
    – Welcoming of invitees
    – Ushering of invitees by Usshers to their designated seats
    – Cocktails for invitees to mix ( so that they would non mix one time the plan starts. and to give you ample clip to fix before your expansive entryway ) .
    – After everyone has settled in their topographic point. the host will do reference of of import people who graced the juncture ( if there are ) .
    – At this point. cocktails are being served.

    – Audio-visual presentation of debutante from babyhood to show.
    – GRAND ENTRANCE of debutante
    – Parents talk about debutante ( brief sum-up ) – accomplishment. ends. aspirations. etc.
    – Toast in award of the debutante
    – Debutante address
    – Prayer
    – Dining
    – AVP of sympathizers
    – Father and girl dance ( This may besides be incorporated into the 18 roses.

    Fathers are normally the first or last dance of the debutante )
    – Eighteen roses ( speech/dance )
    – Eighteen tapers ( address )
    – Singing of birthday vocal
    – Cutting of birthday bar
    – Games
    – Introduction of the debutante. her bodyguard and her cotilion tribunal
    – Debutante’s thank you speech
    – Party clip

    Debut Program Flow
    1. Registration/Arrival of Guests/Receiving of gifts/Cocktails.
    2. Settling of invitees on their seats
    3. Introduction by the master of ceremonies
    4. Recognition of the Parents and other VIPs
    5. Introduction and entryway of the expansive cotilion
    6. GRAND ENTRANCE OF THE DEBUTANTE ( and her escort optional )
    7. Welcome comments and toast by the Parents
    8. AVP of debutante ( images from babyhood to show )
    9. Grand cotilion

    10. Invocation/Prayer before Meal
    11. Dinner and pictorials
    12. AVP of sympathizers
    13. 18 Rose
    15. 18 Candle
    16. Singing of birthday vocal. blowing of 18 CANDLES and film editing of birthday bar
    17. Bet on
    18. DEBUTANTE’s thank you speech
    19. PARTY/Everybody on the dance floor

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